"The wise old owl sat on an Oak

The more he saw, the less he spoke.

The less he spoke the more he heard.

Why can't we be like that old bird!"

~unknown~
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I just received the following bits of wisdom
from a friend of mine.  I wanted to share it
with anyone who cares to read it, or just
save it for myself.  These are so very true
and made me start my day off with a smile.

Simple Truth #1 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.  


Moral of the story:  In life, no one helps you
once you've been screwed.

Simple Truth #2

~~~~~~~~~~~

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "Congratulations".


But none of them come touch the man's penis
and say "Good Job!"


Moral of the story: Hard work is never appreciated.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man came to visit his grandparents, and noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.


'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everybody to see!' he exclaimed.


The old man looked off in the distance without answering.


'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.


The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well.....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck.  This is your Grandma's idea.'




FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 

1)  Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a corvette than on a bicycle.

2)  Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.

3)  If you help someone when they're  in trouble they will remember you when they are in trouble again.

4)  Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5)  Alcohol does not solve problems, but then neither does milk.

My thoughts for the day........have a good one!