Strange "Silly" Quotes:

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1)  Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

2)  Half the people you know are below average.

3)  42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4)  A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

5)  A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 

6)  All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

7)  The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

8)  I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

9)  OK, so what's the speed of dark?

10) If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

11) Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

12) When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

13) Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.